I'm so spoiled....

.... to be this sweet (and smiling!) little girl's momma!

Just snuggle in

I love that my God is so personal. I love that He meets me right where I am at.

This morning, I woke up in a funk.... feeling sad.... feeling insecure.... feeling tired of being needed by everyone and everything in my house that was beckoning.

I started my day with a shower.... surely, that would help to wake me up and help me to tackle the day head on. Yeah, it didn't work.

And then, I jumped into the Word for a bit. It's amazing how it shifted my perspective a notch.... not a 180.... but a notch.

And then, our sweet Audrey beckoned to be fed. Usually after I nurse her, she is wide awake and very squirmy and wiggly, trying to lift her head and look around. But not today. Today, she just snuggled right into my shoulder when I propped her up to burp her and fell right back into a deep sleep.

In that moment, God whispered. I sensed Him saying TO ME, "Snuggle in, baby girl. Snuggle in."

So often, when I am in a funk, instead of listening to the whisper of God and snuggling into Him and resting, I look around to others to feel better.... to something else to distract me.... I am like Audrey after a feeding.... squirmy and wiggly and, sometimes, uncomfortable.

And sometimes, I am like a baby at 22 months old. Do you know the famous, independent, baby move? The move when you are trying to hold him, and he throws his whole head and entire weight backwards, trying to get away, trying to get his own way. Ellie has this move mastered when I carry her upstairs for a nap (in fact, she just pulled this fancy maneuver out an hour ago as I was taking her upstairs). How often have I done that in my relationship with God? He whispers His will to me.... and I am a disobedient, spoiled kid.... throwing a tantrum and trying to turn my own way. Thankfully, I am getting a LITTLE better at NOT being that kid.... well, sometimes....

BUT.... how often do I truly listen to His whisper?

When I am in a funk? Snuggle in.
When I am feeling sad? Snuggle in.
When I am feeling insecure? Snuggle in.
When I am feeling tired of being SO needed? Snuggle in.

Snuggle in, baby girl. Snuggle in.

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

A little change

Yesterday, Scott had a Sunday off. It was good. It was needed (many thanks to Pastor Stan for encouraging him to get away!)

As we contemplated what we wanted to do for the day, the decision was easy. We wanted to go to church at WCC. We worshiped there for nine years, and Scott was on staff at the church for 6 1/2. We know and feel known there. Of course, we wanted to visit when given the opportunity.

What I hadn't mentally prepared myself for was how fabulous AND overwhelmed I would feel standing in the lobby of the church before and after the service. It was fabulous AND overwhelming to visit with dozens and dozens of old friends. I also hadn't thought through the fact that our family looks very different now. When we moved to NY from Warsaw, we had two little boys (Isaac was around 18 months old at the time), and now, we have two little girls, too! Someone even said to us, "WOW! You have LITTLE GIRLS!!!"

And it caused me to think about all that has happened since our time in Warsaw....

2 ministries and jobs
2 pregnancies
3 different OB/GYNs
Approximately 765 injections
2 healthy babies
3 "homes"
4 schools for Aaron
1 hospital stay for Ellie
1 big step out of the counseling field (for now)
1 kiddo reading
Dozens of new friends in New York
5 pediatricians
2 MOPS groups
Countless trips on the Ohio turnpike between Indiana and PA (for us and family and friends)
4 dentists
Dozens of new friends in Indiana
1 kiddo potty trained
4 trips to Florida
Many visits to Niagara Falls with friends and family
6 Parent/Teacher conferences
Countless amount of books read, noses wiped, dishes washed, diapers changed, toilets scrubbed, babies fed, floors vacuumed, laundry washed, boo-boos kissed, windows wiped, oil changed.......

Whew, and that is why I am tired today (I know that many things listed here are on your list, too, and you may be joining me in feeling a little tired, too!) ;)

I cannot adequately summarize in a blog post how cool it has been for me to reflect and think about how the past 3 1/2 years have changed me.... as a woman, as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, and as a Christ-follower. God DOES use change to mold us, shape us, and for good....

Then

Now

Camp

Aaron had a great week at camp. All of the counselors and directors said that he did great. He wasn't ready to come home and is already excited about next year, but we sure are glad to have him home.

I love all the sweet, little voices in this video that gave us a glimpse into all that happened during the week....

Camp Lakewood July 17-22 from Impact 2818 on Vimeo.

Thankful Thursday....

Today, I am thankful....

1) For the awesome directors, staff, and counselors that are pouring into Aaron's life this week at camp.... in spite of the heat! Scott just visited for a few hours and called to say that Aaron is doing great!
2) For A/C!
3) For an awesome book that I read yesterday that totally lifted my spirits and reminded me of some important things. It's a QUICK read.... and I would HIGHLY recommend it to every woman.... Nice Girls Don't Change the World by Lynne Hybels. Seriously, read it. :)
4) For time for my hubby to catch his breath. Per Stan's recommendation, Scott has taken this week off.... to say that he needed it is an understatement, and I feel like I'm gaining glimpses of my hubby's joy again. I'm thankful. Thankful for the wisdom of our senior pastor. Thankful for Scott's willingness to listen.

Have a blessed day! Much love! :)

Our PRESENT and LOVING God

I have written about our buddy, Austin, often on this blog.... asking for prayer for him and his family. Austin battled and beat cancer numerous times over the past 8 years of his life, and early on Tuesday morning, Austin McCleary, at the age of 11, linked arms with Jesus and beat cancer once and for all. Christ has won the final victory in the battle, and our buddy looked into HIS eyes early that morning.

While Austin and Jesus celebrate victory, his family and hundreds and hundreds of people are left to grieve and try to grasp the reality of this loss on earth. I have had the privilege of walking with Austin's mom and dad as a friend over the past 11 years of his life. I love this family. They are the "real deal." Through high-highs and low-lows, Jesus has continued to be present. Andy and Angie McCleary are heroic, and I think it's pretty likely that they have earned many heavenly crowns in glory.

On Thursday, as we all linked arms with Andy and Angie to bury Austin's body at the graveside service, shortly after Denny, the pastor, said, "Amen", I heard someone gasp and say, "A RAINBOW!" (pictured above). This moment absolutely took my breath away. My beloved husband was even choked up (which rarely happens!) as everyone ran out from under the tent to see God's demonstration of his promise. This is what Austin's Aunt Becky wrote on Facebook:

"Yesterday my sweet nephew, Austin, was laid to rest. It was a beautiful sunny (not a dark cloud in the sky) kinda day. God painted a rainbow which turned into a double rainbow during the graveside service and then another one in the evening on the other side of the sky! Most of you don't know how truly important this was to us. We all know that the rainbow is God's promise to all of us but for my family during times of hardship it was a little miracle over the past 8 years that God gave us saying He was with us. If Austin was having an awful day, every time the cancer came back, during a few times of having our spirits completely broken, God brought the rainbow each time to say that He was with us and would be there to get us through. Thank you Lord for all of the miracles that you allowed our family to visually witness!! Christ is the strength that is getting us through! Thank you everyone for all you have done for Austin and our family. hugs, b"

I still have tears as I think about that moment. A moment when God made Himself even more real to me, and I am certain, to others there as well. As Scott and I were leaving the cemetery and were both nearly speechless, Scott said, "God will use ALL of creation to show His children how much He loves them." I really believe that. And after Thursday, I really believe that even more.

We love you, McCleary family. We are here to link arms with you for the long haul. Thank you for the privilege of knowing and loving Austin.... and for the privilege of knowing and loving you.

Photo credit.... April Moore Creations

It's a hot one!

Aaron is having a blast playing All Star baseball. He's learning a lot and making new friends.... good, good stuff. He's also enjoying the fact that his team is 3-1 at this point and just made it into the tournament!

Tonight was a HOT one, as shown in these pics....

BEFORE (actually, about the 2nd inning at this point)

AFTER (ahem.... eye black and a whole lot of sweat are not a good combination!)

In other news, I am sometimes floored at how quickly my kiddo is growing up. I took him shoe shopping last night for new tennis shoes.... and it's official, I could actually fit my foot into one of his shoes. They look HUGE to me (where did my LITTLE boy go?!) As I've mentioned before, we constantly tease him and tell him we'll stop feeding him green beans so he doesn't grow up so fast.... sigh.... if only that would work....

Beautiful baby girl....

.... I love you.